November

First Erasmus Day trip to Civita di Bagnoregio

November

November was the most difficult month for me. The adrenaline of arriving in a new country had started to wear off and I was now very conscious of the fact that I was the piece slightly out of place. I couldn’t shake the longing for belonging and with a lot of free time I searched for distractions and new discoveries to occupy the part of my mind teetering on the edge of homesickness. I explored churches that looked like they belonged in Uncharted 4 and my analysis of the vast cuisine continued with thorough research. I started to speak more Italian each week as my colleague gave me a lift to the station and I found a climbing gym that wasn’t on the other side of town. Towards the end of October, I had joined a Touch Rugby team and throughout November I started to get more involved in this. I’m grateful that I put myself out there for this experience as it enabled me to see a part of the city I wouldn’t have otherwise explored, the All-Reds Rugby Club. Graffiti covering the area from head to toe and band practice taking place in a room directly next door to the marquee gym each Monday, it was Rugby Club unlike any I had seen before. The training on the other hand was the most familiar experience in Italy so far. Aside from having to learn the foreign terminology for the sport and some new drills I was able to understand well enough and play a fun game with my new teammates. I was pleased to learn that one move was named ‘il colosseo’.

November went on and I kept in touch with home, even watching Lindfield bonfire night over facetime. Then I had a crisis about life here feeling like a dream taking place while my real life continued back in the UK. I felt a constant remix of emotions: optimism, frustration, happiness, and sadness.

Although I had been in Rome for almost two months, only in November did I truly start to settle into a lifestyle. Rome had gradually begun to transform around me. Without my full attention it was morphing into a town I knew the roads of with familiarity growing unnoticed in the cracks. One day I woke up and I no longer saw a holiday destination.

The month continued and I felt more soaring emotions. Happiness that I had eaten some delicious sushi, dismay that I had spent €39 euros on sushi. I saw a classmate from my Italian course and was surprised that seeing another Brit wasn’t jarring. Then in mid-November I hit a large dip. Loneliness. I had two friends and the family I lived with, and when they were busy, I had no one. Suddenly the cold hard fact that I am a people person without many people slapped me around the face. It didn’t help that I had submerged myself in a pool of self-doubt regarding my Italian. However, at just the right time, my sister came to visit, and I started to crawl out of the dip. I booked myself a hairdresser’s appointment in Italian, I pushed myself to get out of the apartment more and I got myself signed up to an Erasmus trip.

Come the hairdresser’s appointment I was nervous, worried that language barrier had decided a completely different look for me. I sat in the chair and come the end of the appointment I stared back at my mirrored self, eyes wide open. SHE DYED MY HAIR RED. Just kidding, that’s what I asked for, luckily, we had stayed on the same page. The next day I took myself and my new hair on a trip with Erasmus and had the best day I had experienced out of my time in Italy thus far. Being a part of a group again felt good and we were all in the same boat having newly docked in a foreign city. It was exactly what I had been looking for and I left the day with three new friends who I would go on to spend the next few months with.

At the end of November I travelled to Paris to see my two best friends for the first time in three months. It was the perfect boost I needed to see me through to Christmas.

The emotions I had in November were really startling to me. I have never been particularly homesick before and certainly never felt any form of anxiety leaving the house. Then suddenly I had both in such intense loads it was completely overwhelming. Feeling out of place is a very difficult emotion to deal with but meeting others from around the world in the same situation really helped me to settle into this lifestyle. I left November feeling more secure and excited for the next few months to come.

October

8 months in Rome